• Sara

Close the book, close the laptop

I’d love to tell you that I hear God all the time.  I’d love to hear God all the time.  But the reality is there are too many days that God seems silent.  And so I go through my day, sometimes speaking out of turn, sometimes silently waiting to hear.  But sometimes he does speak.  Last night was one of those sometimes.  I was frantically trying to finish my reading before my class.  It was good reading, worth doing.  And I felt God saying, close the book, close the laptop.  I wrestled for a few seconds.  I mean, I’m trying to be a good student.  But then I did.  I closed everything.  Now what?  Nothing.  Just silence.

So I prayed.  I started to ask God to make a decision for me about where to go.  And to plead as I always do, that he wouldn’t send me alone.  And then I stopped abruptly.  I have always gone alone.  I have never gone alone.  No voice, just clarity.  Why do I keep praying the same thing when the answer has always been there?  Yes, I will go alone again.  But he is with me.  And he will provide for me while I am there.  He will send people, not to go with me, but to be there with me.  As he has always done.  And I will not be alone.  As I have never been alone.

Why do I beg him for the life I don’t have?  Sure, the idea of having someone (or someones) with me from the start of the adventure sounds amazing.  That’s why there are so many books about relationships and there are a myriad of networking and dating sites.  No one really wants to do this thing called life alone.  But there are days that I need to stop studying, stop planning, stop looking.  Close the book, close the laptop.  And choose to trust the God who has proven to me time and time again that I have never been and never will be alone.

#Christianity #Prayer

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