for anyone who has ever asked,"Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night?"

Huntington Library Pathway.jpeg

Timing is Everything: And God is Near

Today, everything seemed to happen at the exact right time. First, I was late leaving school. (This because I was reading not because I was working hard – teachers have such interesting libraries, but I digress.) As I was leaving, I crossed paths with a teacher I hadn’t met up within nearly a year. We had a great chat about faith and family and I was very encouraged. Then, I found out that my rent was being raised. This is particularly frustrating because the jobs I have don’

On Miracles

I always think of Christmas as a time for miracles. I anticipate them, expecting that something wonderful just might happen, something that can only be explained by God – which is, after all, the very definition of a miracle. I have been praying for miracles all year, well actually, long before this year. But as the year went by, more and more things have gone contrary to my prayers. This has been difficult because I know that the things I was praying for were good. And I kno

Waiting for Christmas

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved Christmas. It’s not just the day itself, but the entire season. There is something about the lights and the smells, the music and the joy – and hope. Somehow, every time December comes around, I find it a little easier to believe. I anticipate miracles. I find wonder in things that may seem small and insignificant. And while I am fully aware of how odd it is that I feel this way, it happens every year. With the coming of Chri

Tears in the Void

I’m often surprised by the things that stand out when I’m reading the Bible. This time it was God’s message to Hagar – the second time he had spoken to her. The message was this: “Fear not, for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is” (Genesis 21:17). As far as Genesis tells us, neither Hagar nor Ishmael was crying out to God. They were simply crying. The situation seemed so desperate that Hagar even walked away from her son so she wouldn’t have to watch him suffer. Bu

Not even a sparrow falls…

I’ve been praying a lot at the piano these days. Sometimes it’s the only way I know how to pray. Last night a friend’s husband unexpectedly passed away, leaving her alone with their two young children. Another friend is processing what life looks like for her and her husband one month after the death of their 21-month daughter. And it is the one year anniversary of my uncle’s death. I am angry. It isn’t fair. There is something fundamentally wrong about a person dying young.

“Dreams come true. Yeah they do. In Santa Fe.”

I have always been a dreamer. I am rarely completely content with how things are. There is always that majestic “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20 NIV) looming just ahead of me. I refuse to settle for just a job. And I struggle to believe that people can’t change, that I and my situation won’t change. I resonate with Jack Kelly more than any other musical character. Throughout the Broadway show, Newsies, he is shown rising to the challenges before

Thoughts on Life and the Love of God

My thoughts are a jumble these days. I have one quarter left before I graduate. I have no idea where I will be working and praying that God bring me to a good place. I’m moving tomorrow and frantically packing up my house. I’m preaching tonight at youth group about Jesus feeding the 5000. I still need to proofread an issue of a certain magazine by Sunday. The boys downstairs playing ball yell anyounghaseyo and anyoungee kehseyo every time I walk downstairs with another box an

Thoughts on not being perfect (but being delighted in anyway)

I never used to struggle with perfectionism. Perhaps it was because I was surrounded by people who delighted in me. As a girl, my horse drawings were thought beautiful, my grandma always asked to hear what I had learned on piano, and I sang my original songs in church. My great-grandma even wrote me thank you notes for my thank you notes. Perhaps this is the American way, this way of encouraging kids to build up their self-esteem, rather than critiquing them in order to help

“Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” John 12:21

The other day I was sitting on a bench outside of an empty restaurant waiting to have lunch with friends. I was reading as I waited. The passage that day was the beginning of the book of Job, which I have made it a practice to read when I am wrestling with hardships in my own life. This time I was somewhat detached in my reading this time. Job had a good life. Then, due to a test from a fallen angel with the approval of the Most High God, everything began to fall apart. His l

Better Together

A question I am consistently asked is “Have any of the churches you’ve visited stood out to you?”  This question assumes that I am looking for the perfect church.  I am not.  It also suggests I am looking for a church to do my internship at.  While I am looking for possibilities, I am also visiting churches I would not consider for an internship.  What I wish people would ask is “How have you seen God working since you’ve been visiting churches?” I’m so glad you asked.  Let m

Asking God

I’m trying to learn not to be afraid to petition God.  It’s easy for me to pray for other people, global situations, or even things that I am certain are God’s will for my life, such as time management or to become better at loving others.  But I hesitate to ask him for things that I need.  Do I think I need too much?  Perhaps my finances are tight because I’m not wise with my money or choose to live in an expensive part of the globe.  Maybe I’m too busy because I find my val